If you’ve ever asked yourself what a healthy relationship looks like or how to ensure yours becomes one, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to share my top 20 pieces of relationship advice every couple can implement to build a healthy, happy, lasting love.
When you’ve experienced toxic or abusive relationships as I have, understanding what’s “healthy” can feel confusing, overwhelming and at times impossible. It took me a long time to adjust when I met my current partner; I’d never had a healthy relationship in my life, I grew up with a very distorted view of what healthy was and ended up in a string of unhealthy, volatile, soul-destroying relationships.
But after a lot of healing and navigating a new, healthy relationship, my entire life has changed in ways I could never have imagined, and that’s why I want to share the 20 most important lessons I learned along the way to help you thrive in the truly amazing relationships you deserve.
Whether you’re just starting out in a new relationship or trying to nurture a long-term one, these tips are for you – straight from my heart to yours. So get cosy, grab a cuppa and let’s dive in.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
From my experience, a healthy relationship feels like peace. You don’t have to question your worth or walk on eggshells. There’s security, openness, and mutual respect. You can be 100% yourself – flaws, quirks, unshaved legs, crazy collections and all – and still feel loved, accepted and valued.
After living so long in toxic relationships, I was astonished to learn that love isn’t supposed to hurt or make you cry. Expressing your needs doesn’t have to end in screaming and shouting and vicious attacks. A healthy relationship builds you up, allowing you both to grow into the best versions of yourselves together. They should bring out the best in you and make you feel empowered and energised.
So, let’s look at the practices that cultivate this kind of love 👇
busy bee??… pin me for later!
Healthy relationship advice for every couple.
1. Ensure Open & Honest Communication
Healthy communication is the backbone of any solid relationship. I used to avoid the hard conversations, fearing conflict, but I learned that avoidance only creates distance and resentment. When you’re open, even about uncomfortable topics, you strengthen trust.
It’s not just about expressing your needs – it’s about listening to your partner, too, creating an environment where both of you feel safe to be vulnerable. Openness builds the emotional intimacy that makes a relationship thrive.
2. Prioritise Quality Time Together
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to let quality time slip away. I’ve learned that if you don’t carve out intentional moments together, you’ll drift apart. Whether it’s planning regular date nights or simply sitting down for dinner without distractions, these small moments of connection matter.
They remind you why you chose each other and keep the friendship at the heart of your relationship alive. Being able to go out and have fun together and enjoy each other’s company is the glue that holds you together and allows you to continue growing together instead of apart.
3. Active Listening Without Getting Defensive
Listening is one of the most powerful ways to show love, but it’s hard to do when we feel defensive. I used to jump to conclusions or prepare my rebuttal before my partner even finished speaking – big mistake.
True listening means putting your ego aside and really absorbing what the other person is saying, even if it’s uncomfortable. When you respond with understanding instead of defensiveness, you create a deeper connection and understanding of each other.
4. Show Appreciation Regularly
Never underestimate the power of a simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you.” Small gestures of appreciation can make the biggest difference. Whether it’s acknowledging their efforts or simply expressing gratitude for who they are, showing appreciation nurtures the love between you.
5. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
Boundaries are not walls that you need to lower – they’re guidelines that protect the health of your relationship. In past relationships, my boundaries were consistently disregarded, and I was made to feel crazy for having them. It chipped away at my sense of self and left me feeling confused, frustrated and unable to trust anything.
Now, I understand that respecting each other’s boundaries is essential. It allows both partners to feel secure and respected. Boundaries show that you value each other’s needs and are willing to honour them.
6. Support Your Partner’s Goals and Dreams
Being in a relationship means cheering each other on in life. Whether it’s a career goal, a new hobby, or a personal aspiration, supporting your partner’s dreams is key to building a strong, lasting bond.
I’ve seen how my relationship flourishes when we actively encourage each other’s growth. You become each other’s biggest fans, and that’s a beautiful thing.
7. Keep the Romance Alive
Romance doesn’t have to be grand or expensive; it’s about the little things that show you’re still making an effort. I used to think romance had to be elaborate and magical, but now I find joy in the smallest gestures -when my partner comes home with a bar of my favourite chocolate after work, it says, “I thought of you,” and that means more than some extravagant gift ever could.
These tiny acts keep the spark alive and remind both of you that the love is still very much there.
8. Apologise When You Are Wrong
This one’s tough but crucial. I used to struggle with apologies, feeling like they were a sign of weakness. But I’ve since learned that being able to say, “I was wrong, I’m sorry,” is one of the strongest things you can do for your relationship. It shows maturity and a commitment to making things right. A sincere apology can heal wounds and bring you closer.
9. When You Choose to Forgive, You Must Move On
Forgiveness is powerful, but it only works if you truly let go. Remember, there is nothing that says you have to forgive; some things cross a line, and you are well within your rights to walk away. Only you know if you can manage this step, but only forgive what you can let go of.
In previous relationships, when partners cheated on me, I wanted so badly to make it work, and I “forgave” them, but I couldn’t let go. I kept bringing things up in future arguments, and it never ended well. If you choose to forgive your partner, you must also choose to move forward and not use the mistake as leverage. True forgiveness frees both of you from the weight of resentment.
10. Trust and Loyalty are Paramount
Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Without it, everything crumbles. Loyalty and trust take time to build but can be broken in seconds and take forever to rebuild. I learned that to keep a relationship healthy, trust must be earned and maintained through consistent actions.
It’s about being reliable, honest, and showing that you have each other’s back, no matter what.
11. Support Their Independence
Independence within a relationship is not only healthy but necessary. I used to think that closeness meant doing everything together, and time apart meant we’d drift apart, but now I know that giving each other space to pursue individual interests actually strengthens the bond.
Supporting your partner’s independence shows that you trust them and that you’re both committed to your personal growth, as well as the relationship. Both partners should still be individuals as well as a couple in order to truly thrive in the long term.
12. Argue Constructively
No relationship is free of conflict, but how you argue can make all the difference. I’ve been in relationships where arguments turned toxic, full of blame and bitterness, personal insults and even physical aggression. But I’ve since learned that constructive arguing – where you focus on the issue and the solution instead of attacking each other – leads to resolution and growth.
Disagreements, when handled with care, can bring you closer instead of tearing you apart as you learn to navigate challenges and solve problems together.
13. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins
Big or small, celebrating each other’s victories strengthens your bond. I’ve been on the receiving end of someone disregarding your achievements, even outright ridiculing them, and it’s demoralising and destructive – so from big promotions to mastering a new skill make sure you celebrate your partner’s achievemnts.
Sharing in each other’s joy brings an extra layer of connection and support. You will also both feel valued and loved for who you are.
14. Daily Physical Affection
Physical affection is such a vital part of connection. Whether it’s a hug, holding hands, or just sitting close, daily affection nurtures the bond between you.
If physical touch isn’t your love language, find other ways to connect daily – through words or acts of service. What matters is that you show love in a way that resonates with both of you.
15. Maintain the Passion and Intimacy
Intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s emotional too. Keeping the passion alive means staying curious about your partner, exploring new ways to connect, and making sure that you’re both fulfilled in the relationship. Passion fades without effort, but with attention and care, it can deepen over time.
And, of course, physical intimacy is important too, so keep that spark alive in the bedroom, too.
16. Love Their Flaws and Uniqueness
None of us are perfect, and neither are our partners. But it’s the quirks and imperfections that make them who they are. I used to try to “fix” my partners, but now I’ve learned to embrace and love them for who they are. Loving someone’s flaws means accepting them fully, without conditions.
17. Show Empathy and Be Supportive
Empathy is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. When they’re going through something, be there to support them – whether with words, actions, or just your presence.
Relationships thrive when both people feel like they have someone in their corner, especially during tough times. Be teammates, not opponents.
18. Laugh Together Every Day
Laughter is the glue that keeps relationships light and fun. I’ve found that the more we laugh together, the stronger our bond becomes. They say a good sense of humour and laughter will always last longer than a pretty face and a hot body, and it’s so true!
Life can be stressful, but finding moments to laugh, even at the smallest things, keeps the joy alive in your relationship.
19. Make Big Decisions As A Team
Healthy relationships are partnerships, and that means making important decisions together. Whether it’s deciding where to live, how to handle finances, or even what to have for dinner, involving each other in the process builds trust and equality. It’s about showing that you’re a team in every aspect of life.
20. Never Stop Learning and Growing
Relationships are dynamic – they evolve as you and your partner grow. Never stop learning about each other or yourself. Whether it’s through reading, therapy, or just deep conversations, continuously nurturing your relationship is key to keeping it strong.
Growth is what keeps love vibrant and alive.
Final Thoughts
A healthy relationship is a space where both partners can thrive – where you feel seen, heard, and valued. It’s not perfect, but it’s built on trust, love, and mutual respect. You should feel supported, secure, and appreciated, knowing that both of you are working together to create something beautiful.
Remember, love is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Keep showing up for each other, and you’ll find that with time, effort, and a whole lot of heart, you can build the healthy relationship you deserve.
