Imagine waking up each morning feeling at peace with who you are, excited to step into the day because you know you’ve got your own back and you’re gonna smash it. Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?
But let’s be honest: for most of us, that little voice inside our head is our own worst critic, constantly telling us we aren’t enough and we can’t do it. If that’s you and you’re desperate for a change, then I’ve got good news for you – self-love isn’t something reserved for the few – it’s a practice, and like any habit, it can be learned.
By making simple changes and taking small steps, you can build habits for self-love into your everyday life, and before you know it, you’ll be your own biggest cheerleader and loving life!
So, if you’re ready to commit and start showing yourself the love you truly deserve, you’re in the right place. ✨
Why Self-Love Matters
Before we dive into the habits, let’s talk about why self-love is so important. Think of it like this: when you love yourself, you set the foundation for every other relationship in your life. You stop seeking validation from others because you already know your worth. Self-love allows you to set healthy boundaries, stand up for yourself, and live authentically.
When we don’t practise self-love, we’re more likely to tolerate toxic behaviours, put everyone else’s needs before our own, and live in a state of constant self-doubt. But when we actively show ourselves love, we’re empowered to take control of our lives, heal from past wounds, and thrive.
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20 Habits for Self-Love 👇
1. Let Go of Others’ Opinions
Have you ever caught yourself hesitating to do something because of what others might think? Maybe it’s wearing that bold outfit or speaking up in a meeting.
Picture this: you put on that bright, patterned dress that makes you feel alive, but the fear of judgment creeps in so you swap it for that plain old black number that no one will notice you in (sound familiar? coz this was me for soooooooo long!!). Now, imagine letting go of those opinions and stepping out confidently, wearing that dress because it makes you happy. You hold your head up high and smile every time you see those beautiful colours 👈 this is me now and it feels incredible!!
Letting go of others’ opinions frees you from external pressures and lets you live authentically as YOU. When you stop letting others define your worth, you can fully embrace who you are. Life is too short to worry about the opinions of others.
2. Change Your Mindset
We’ve all had those days when everything seems to be going wrong. Your mindset can make or break how you handle these moments. Imagine you’re stuck in traffic, late for work, and everything feels out of your control. Instead of spiralling into frustration, you take a breath and choose to see it as extra time to listen to your favourite podcast or playlist.
Shifting your mindset from negativity to possibility changes how you experience life. This simple mental shift can help you approach challenges with grace and positivity, building a stronger foundation of self-love.
3. Limit Social Media
Endless scrolling can leave you feeling drained and insecure, especially when you compare your life to the highlight reels of others. Think about how often you’ve opened Instagram and suddenly felt “less than” because someone else’s life looks perfect.
Now imagine setting time limits on social media and spending that extra hour doing something you truly enjoy – reading, journaling, or taking a walk in nature. By limiting social media, you create space for activities that nurture your soul, helping you reconnect with what truly matters in your life.
4. Practice Daily Gratitude
Gratitude is like a warm blanket for the soul. When you focus on what you’re grateful for, you shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Picture this: instead of dwelling on that one mistake you made at work, you take a moment to appreciate the things that went right – a compliment from a colleague, your favourite song on the drive home, or even the cosy cup of tea you had in the morning.
Daily gratitude rewires your brain to notice the good, helping you feel more content and positive about your life. I like to write down three things I’m grateful for every night before bed that are specifically related to that day, this stops the practice from becoming too repetitive and helps you see the small moments of joy in every day.
5. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment. Whether it’s taking a few deep breaths during a busy day or savouring your morning coffee without distractions, mindfulness helps you reconnect with yourself. Imagine sitting quietly in your garden, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face and the breeze on your skin.
For those few moments, you’re not worrying about tomorrow’s to-do list or the stressful day you had at work – you’re simply being. Practising mindfulness reduces stress and helps you stay grounded in your own experience.
6. Daily Affirmations
Ever felt stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk? You’re not alone. This is something that took over my life for a long time and something I still battle with, but daily affirmations can help break that cycle.
Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror each morning and saying, “I am worthy of love and respect.” At first, it might feel awkward, but over time, you start to believe those words. Affirmations work by challenging the negative thoughts that hold you back and replacing them with empowering truths. This simple habit can boost your confidence and remind you of your worth.
7. Show Yourself Kindness and Compassion
We’re often our harshest critics. But what if you started treating yourself the way you’d treat a close friend? Picture this: after a long, tiring day, instead of beating yourself up for not being productive enough, you allow yourself to rest, acknowledge what you did do, knowing you gave it your best and that’s enough.
Showing yourself kindness and compassion means forgiving yourself for mistakes and recognising that you’re human. This shift helps you cultivate a gentler, more loving relationship with yourself.
8. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. But comparison steals your joy. Let’s say you’re scrolling through social media and see someone’s “perfect” holiday photos. Instead of feeling envious, you remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different, and their accomplishments don’t diminish your own.
Stopping the comparison game frees you from unnecessary self-criticism and allows you to celebrate your unique path. Your value isn’t determined by someone else’s life – it’s rooted in who you are. And let’s be real: half of those photos do not represent the truth, so stop getting so hung up on them.
9. Let Go of Toxic People
Toxic relationships can drain your energy and damage your self-esteem. Imagine finally walking away from that person who constantly belittles you or makes you feel small. Letting go of toxic people creates space for healthier, more supportive relationships. It’s an act of self-love to choose connections that uplift and nurture you rather than tear you down.
10. Journalling
Journaling is like having a conversation with your soul. It’s a safe space to process your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. You can work through any emotions or challenges you may be facing, make sense of things and unscramble your mind.
Sitting down at the end of a long day and pouring my heart out onto the page is one of my favourite things to do. It allows me to reflect, release, and gain clarity as well as acknowledge my achievements, express my gratitude and foster a deeper connection and understanding with myself.
11. Give Yourself Compliments
How often do you compliment yourself? I bet it’s not often, is it? We’re so quick to praise others but hesitant to acknowledge our own strengths. So, next time you accomplish something, no matter how small, take a moment to celebrate.
Imagine finishing a project at work and telling yourself, “I did that, and I’m proud of myself.” Giving yourself compliments builds your confidence and reminds you of your capabilities.
12. Celebrate Small Wins
Life isn’t just about big milestones – it’s the small wins that keep us going. They show us the evidence that we need that we can get started and we can achieve. Too often, we make our goals so big that we can’t reach the first step so we give up. We expect too much too soon and settle for nothing short of perfection.
Picture this: you set a goal to start journaling, and even though you only wrote for five minutes, you did it. Celebrate that! Don’t tell yourself it was “only five minutes and it didn’t really count” or you “didn’t do it properly”. You did it; it doesn’t matter what that looked like; it could have been two sentences, but you still did it.
Stop doing yourself out of achievements. Start recognising and celebrating your small wins; you’ll keep yourself motivated and reinforce your self-worth.
13. Set Small Goals
Setting small, achievable goals helps you build momentum and confidence. Think of it like taking baby steps – each one gets you closer to where you want to be. Whether it’s drinking more water or taking a daily walk, these goals might seem small, but they’re powerful in building your sense of accomplishment.
Say you want to start walking but feel super unfit and unmotivated, you set a goal to exercise for one hour five days a week. That’s a lot. It’s a big change, and it’s likely unsustainable at the beginning of your journey. You’ll soon start missing days, then you’ll beat yourself up because you didn’t do it, and the same old destructive cycle continues, you tell yourself you’re a failure and quit.
Instead, set a goal to exercise for five minutes a day. But that’s nothing I hear you say… but it is. You got up, you did what you intended, and you proved to yourself you could! You feel proud, and you provide proof to your brain that you can and you will! Before you know it, five minutes becomes ten, fifteen… thirty and so on.
14. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can be sneaky, but you don’t have to believe everything they say. And you really shouldn’t because they tend to be based on fear, not fact!
The next time a thought like “I’m not good enough” pops up, challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is that really true?” “What evidence do I have of that?”. Train yourself to focus on the things you’ve done well and you will soon learn you’re more than enough!
Over time, this habit helps you reframe your thoughts and replace negativity with self-compassion and understanding.
15. Indulge in Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. Imagine drawing a warm bath, lighting your favourite candle, and sinking into a peaceful moment just for you.
Indulging in self-care reminds you that you’re worthy of love and attention, and it helps you recharge both physically and emotionally.
16. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are an essential act of self-love. Picture this: you’ve always said yes to every request, to the point of burnout. But now you’re learning to say no when it feels too much, you stop letting people treat you poorly and start putting yourself first.
Setting boundaries protects your time, energy, and mental health, showing both yourself and others that your needs matter. It’s empowering and essential to your mental wellbeing.
17. Surround Yourself with Positive People
The people you surround yourself with can either lift you up or pull you down. Imagine spending time with a friend who always encourages and supports you. Surrounding yourself with positive, uplifting people reinforces your self-worth and helps you stay focused on your journey to self-love.
Some of the darkest periods of my life happened because I thought the people around me had my best interests at heart, and in reality, they led me to dark places. Being surrounded by chaos and negativity will attract chaos and negativity into you’re life. Being surrounded by love and positivity will attract love and positivity into your life. Choose wisely.
18. Be Active
Moving your body is a powerful way to show yourself love. Imagine going for a walk in the park, feeling the fresh air and the movement of your muscles, it’s refreshing and exhilarating.
Being active boosts your mood, reduces stress, and reminds you of the incredible strength your body holds.
19. Eat Healthy
Nourishing your body with healthy foods is a tangible way to practise self-love. Picture yourself enjoying a colourful, nutrient-packed meal that leaves you feeling energised and satisfied.
Eating healthy helps you feel your best from the inside out, supporting both your physical and mental well-being.
20. Hi-Five Yourself in the Mirror
This one might feel a little silly at first, but it’s incredibly powerful. Each morning, look in the mirror, give yourself a high-five, and say, “I’ve got this.” It’s a fun and affirming way to start your day, and it reinforces the message that you’re capable and worthy of love.
This practice is part of The High Five Habit developed by Mel Robbins, and I love it! You can watch THIS LINK for a quick overview but I highly recommend doing some deeper listening to understand the full science-based evidence for this small habit.
Final Thoughts
Self-love is a journey, not a destination. By incorporating these simple habits for self-love into your daily life, you’ll start to see a transformation in how you view yourself and your place in the world.
Remember, you are worthy of love exactly as you are. So, take it one step at a time and keep showing yourself the kindness, compassion, and love you deserve.
